Breaking up is hard to do but, unfortunately, it’s sometimes the best thing to do But how do you know when is it time to break up? Deciding to end your relationship is a difficult and emotional decision and one that will greatly alter your and your partner’s life.
In other words, it’s a decision not to take lightly. It can be hard to know whether you’re going through a rough patch or whether you’re better off going your separate ways. It’s important to evaluate your relationship and look for the following warning signs before leaving it for good.
When is it Time to Break Up: The Signs
You’ve grown apart
Signs you’ve grown apart vary, but they can include the following. For example, you no longer seek your partner as your go-to person for support, laughter, and ‘just because’ texts.
You may also find that when you’re in the same room together there’s an air of tension and awkwardness because you just don’t know how to connect anymore.
Free time is spent separately, and you rarely, if ever, have sex anymore. If any of the above rings true then it’s time to break up.
You feel like you can’t be yourself
Do you feel like you’re constantly walking on egg shells? Do you feel like you’re constantly putting on a brave and/or happy face to appease your partner? Are you in people pleasing mode whenever you’re around your significant other?
Do you feel like you can’t be your authentic self in fear that you’ll be judged by your partner, or because it might lead to conflict? If so, that’s not a good sign of a healthy relationship.
You’re fighting a lot
You know when it’s time to break up when you can’t talk to your partner without a fight starting.
Whether it’s squabbling over toothpaste or nitpicking over chores or arguing about whether you should move to a bigger place or not, if you find yourself fighting more than being friendly and kind to each other, that’s a huge red flag that your relationship is in crisis mode.
You don’t want the same things in life
A major indicator that your relationship has run its course is that you don’t want the same things in life. Maybe you want kids, and your partner doesn’t. Maybe it’s about marriage and your partner wants to make it official, but you’re happy with how things are.
It’s not a positive sign if you’re locking heads with your partner over life-changing decisions and your idea of what your futures will look like aren’t adding up. If there’s little room for compromise and your values aren’t aligning then you know it’s time to break up.
You’re constantly having relationship anxiety
Your relationship should serve as a place of safety and security. Relationship anxiety is a form of anxiety concerning romantic relationships. While having some anxiety over relationships is relatively normal, if find yourself consistently anxious and insecure about your relationship, then this needs to be addressed.
A relationship should make you feel confident about your love for your partner and their love for you. If that’s not possible, then it’s probably time to call it quits.
You keep breaking up and getting back together
A seesaw relationship is a confusing one that lacks stability and commitment. If you keep breaking up and getting back together again in hopes of old issues being resolved then it’s time to reevaluate the reality of your situation.
If you keep having the same problems and engaging in the same fights, these are signs that maybe those issues will never be resolved. You must ask yourself if your relationship can ever be something that you can function happily, without the need for constant breaks and reassessments. You might decide that you’re better off turning the relationship “off”.
Breaking up is never straightforward and is usually the result of a number of issues that simply cannot be ignored anymore. While breaking up is heartbreaking, staying with someone who cannot give you the relationship you desire is even more so. Follow your gut and trust that you’ll know when it’s best to break up.