It might sound counter-intuitive to make a list of all the things to look for in a guy. But hear me out on this one. If you don’t know exactly what you want, then you won’t be able to find it. And even if you do stumble on it by accident, there’s a good chance it’ll pass you by without you noticing.
And it amazes me how many women overlook some of the most important things. Yes, you should want to rip his clothes off. But there are equally important things you need to look for before letting someone new into your heart. Here are my 8 top things to look for in a guy you like.
Things to Look for in a Guy: 8 Qualities
He respects you
One of the most important things to look for in a guy is that he respects you.
That means he listens to your opinions and takes them on board. He speaks kindly to and about you and doesn’t push you to do anything you don’t want to. He does all he can to put you at ease and make you feel comfortable around him. He doesn’t cuss at you, or do anything to shame or degrade you.
This is what respect looks like. If he doesn’t respect you, then he doesn’t deserve you.
He’s kind (and not just to you)
It’s easy for someone to pretend to be a nice person for a few hours. But we can learn a lot from the way people treat others in our company. So when you’re out for dinner with him, pay attention to how he treats the barman or waiter.
And notice how he speaks about his friends and family to you. Does he speak kindly about them, or does he use every opportunity to be rude about them?
Finally, make sure he is kind to you. That he goes out of his way to be sweet and caring, and make you feel loved.
Things to look for in a guy: He challenges you
In a relationship, you should both bring out the best in each other, and make each other better people. It’s not about fixing anyone. It’s about challenging their self-imposed limits, and helping them be the best version of themselves they can be.
So if he supports you while encouraging you to step into your greatness, he’s got real potential.
He’s honest with you
A relationship cannot last or thrive without a strong foundation of trust. And to create trust, you both need to be totally honest and upfront with each other.
So if he tells you where you stand, and isn’t afraid to tell you how he feels about you, it’s a good sign.
But if you think he’s hiding something from you, don’t be afraid to confront him. And if you still feel uneasy, trust your intuition and walk away.
He wants the same things you want
This one’s up there on the things to look for in a guy list.
I don’t mean he needs to share your exact goals and dreams in life. But it’s important that he shares many of the same values. For example, if you want to have kids someday, it’s important he wants that too. And if you dream of travelling the world and living abroad, he needs to be on board with that.
Relationships often breakdown because two people realize they want to live their lives very differently. And plenty of heartache could be spared if they talked about this sooner.
He’s intellectually & emotionally intelligent
You need to be able to have a deep conversation with a man, that goes beyond surface level. And to do this requires intelligence. That doesn’t mean he needs to be a brain surgeon. He just needs to have read a book once in a while, and be able to hold a conversation.
Equally, it’s important to be able to share your feelings with him and feel heard and understood. And that means he needs emotional intelligence too.
He is generous with his time
When he’s with you, does he give you his undivided attention? Or is he always checking his phone or looking around?
Does he make time to see you regularly, regardless of how busy he is work?
If he’s not generous with his time from the start, things will only go downhill from here.
You shouldn’t have to schedule an appointment months in advance every time you want to see him. And you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting his time.
He’s willing to say sorry and admit when he’s wrong
We all make mistakes. That’s one of the best ways we learn. But what’s important is that we own up to them and don’t blame others.
So if he holds his hands up and says he’s sorry when he’s wrong – and means it – it shows that you and your relationship means more to him than his pride.
If your man matches up to the bulk of these eight points, you know you’re onto a winner and he’s worth having around. What’s more, he’ll likely want to stick around if he’s one of the good guys!