Wondering how to meet women online in 2020? Well, the good news is that nothing’s really changed in the online dating game at the turn of the decade. That said, there are some basic fundamentals that every gent worth his salt should pay attention to when looking for a lady. Here we take a closer look and clear up some of the questions you might have about meeting women online. Let’s go!
As a man on dating apps, your experience can be very different from a woman’s. While many men believe they don’t get enough messages on dating sites, more women believe that they get too many. Moreover, women are more likely to say that they’ve had negative interactions on dating apps.
Those interactions range from being sent unasked for sexually explicit images to being called an offensive name or even threatened with physical harm. More women than men believe that dating apps are an unsafe way to meet people. For women trying to meet people, sometimes dating sites can turn them off from online dating altogether.
So what does that mean for men wondering how to meet women online? Well, despite those negative interactions, in 2017 nearly 40% of heterosexual couples in met online or through an app. The general stigma about couples who met through an app has ebbed over the years. Although women are generally more aware of certain pitfalls of dating online, they’re still likely to turn to online dating, rather than go through friends and coworkers to date, as they once did.
But how we meet women online today is different from how we did it, say, in 2012 when Tinder first launched. Here’s how things have changed since we start flirting with online dating on the regs.
Sliding into her DMs isn’t a bad idea, but it can come off as creepy
It’s not uncommon to hear about a couple who met because someone messaged them on Twitter or Instagram first. For instance, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner admitted to having met because Joe messaged her on Instagram. Now, they are reportedly expecting their first child together.
But here’s the caveat: the two had mutual friends first. Sliding into a stranger’s DMs is generally frowned upon. For one thing, if you’re not following each other, it’s going to go into a folder that’s basically spam and is likely filled with messages from other strange men. Even if you could have been a good match for this woman, ending up as spam is a death knell for any potential relationship.
If you’re going to message someone on Twitter or Instagram, see if you have any connection first. Mention how you’re connected through such-and-such is a good opening line too. If you’re not acquainted with anyone she knows, follow her first and see if she follows you back.
Generally, if a woman is attracted to someone she sees followed her, and as long as he actually has content on his social media profile, she’ll often follow back. Once you’re mutuals, you can message her without it ending up in the trash (so to speak!).
Remember to choose the right app for what you want to meet women for
If you’re on Hinge trying to hook up, you’re likely going to make a lot of the women you match with angry. That’s just not what Hinge is for. It’s an app whose tagline is “Designed to be deleted”. That means that you’re not using it to hook up one night and then you’re back on it again the next day, trying to find the next girl. If you’re looking for how to meet women who are in it for the long haul, then this is an ideal app to try.
Even if you’re not paying for a matchmaking app, you should still check out the reviews of a dating app before downloading it. Is it the right app for what you want? That being said, there are many apps where people have met their partners, even if the app is generally associated with “hook-up culture”.
Tinder, for instance, has long been associated with being the original hook-up app but there’s many happy couples today who met on it. But it’s crucial to understand that the pool of people who want a relationship on Tinder may be smaller than the pool of people looking for something more short term because of the stigma associated with it, so you may not find the perfect match you want.
There are so many apps out there, but you might want to stick with the old standbys
In 2012, there weren’t a lot of big name competitors out there, at least not in terms of free dating apps. In 2020, that’s no longer the case. Now there’s a dating app for everything, but that doesn’t mean that you should be using every app. Some are great in theory, not that great in practice. For instance, as CNET notes, apps can actually turn out to have low user pools, meaning you don’t have much exposure to potential partners.
There are apps out there that purposefully have small dating pools, like the celebrity dating app Raya, but, unless you’re an Oscar winning actor, you probably don’t need or want such a small pool. Check out how many reviews there are for an app before you download it, to get an understanding of just how many people are using it. A ridiculously small pool is not going to help you meet women.
In 2020, when you’re thinking about how to meet women, it’s important to understand that dating culture in general has evolved a lot in the past ten years, but some things never change. It’s cool to be kind (and it’s cool to keep your privates private).
There are indeed plenty of fish in the sea, so don’t be discouraged if the first girl you match with ends up not being interested. And be honest about what you want, by using the right app to find the right girl.