Getting out of a relationship with the one you love can be emotionally taxing. There’s no one way of getting over that person, everyone grieves differently. Feelings of sadness, anger, regret, anxiety or frustration, are all normal but painful emotions to have during a heartbreak. Here are some ways to encourage the healing process and help you through the heartache.
Give yourself time to vent
This can involve thinking it through, self-reflection, and honoring your feelings. One of the ways you can learn more about yourself is by asking questions and answering them honestly.
The questions should be designed to help reveal how you feel. They shouldn’t place any blame on yourself or anyone else. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- What can I learn from this situation?
- What have I learned about myself?
- How can I move on from this situation healthily?
- How can I come to terms with moving on?
The answers to these questions will likely give you more insights into how you’re feeling. Start by choosing one question each week and answer it openly. Then work through your conclusions slowly, explore them from every angle.
You can also reflect on how you made it through a tough situation of losing a friend or partner in the past. What steps did you take to get through it? What did that process look like? How is this situation similar or different? This will all aid the process.
Listen to encouraging messages
Reading books, listening to music and watching inspiring videos can give you a different perspective on your feelings. It can remind you that you are not alone in dealing with this. These messages could be about to deal with heartbreak, preparing for the right love, or how to heal from a previous relationship.
To keep your mind focused on new possibilities start creating some positive affirmations that will uplift you. Here are some good examples:
- I am deserving of a healthy relationship that will lead to marriage.
- I embrace the love that I have in my life.
- I aim to do a simple act of love everyday for myself.
- I am worthy of the kind of love I seek.
- I speak lovingly to myself everyday.
Whenever you have negative thoughts, use inspiring messages to uplift you. Sometimes it helps putting your affirmations in a place you’ll see everyday, such as on a wall or a mirror.
Another thing that makes moving on so challenging is having not figured out how to fill in your schedule. There could be a considerable void left by your ex. If that’s the case, pick up activities you used to do before you got with your ex. Maybe take up a hobby you always wanted to try.
Hanging out with friends and family members is also incredibly important. Socialising is a great way to sustain you too. Whatever you choose, it will keep you busy long enough to to detach from your previous relationship.
Being occupied is beneficial because it keeps you off the phone. Social media, texting and emailing are things worth taking a break from every so often. It will make you feel more in control. Once you get the hang of filling in your spare time, you’ll feel empowered. You have the flexibility to move your activities around to fit your needs.
Take things slow on the dating front
Moving on quickly isn’t always the best option. It’s important to give yourself time to think things through instead of rushing into a rebound relationship. When you do start dating, be honest about your feelings. Let the person you’re seeing know that you want to take your time to get to know each other.
Create a space where you don’t have to see your ex
Take back control of the healing process by finding a space where you don’t have to see your ex. Unfollowing them on social media is a good place to start. This will give you the freedom to heal without having the urge to check their status updates.
Another strategy is to spend less time at places where you may run into each other. Doing this will minimise emotional triggers. It also limits the heartbreak reminders every time you run into your ex. Getting over someone you have strong feelings for can take time. Hopefully, these tips serve as a gentle reminder that the pain you’re feeling is only temporary. Hold onto the thought that this experience is preparing you for a lot more happy experiences to come.