Gone are the days where using a dating app equates to looking to hook up. And the divisions between dating apps aren’t quite what they used to be. Whether you’re on eharmony or on Tinder, you could be looking for the same thing: a long, loving relationship. That’s why it’s all the more important to build a dating profile that both stands out and reflects who you truly are.
No matter what app you’re using, this basic principle remains the same. That said it can be a little daunting, particularly if you’re new to the online dating game. With that in mind, here’s how to build the perfect dating profile to find your perfect match.
Your Images Need to Match Your Words
If you share a picture of yourself taking shots with friends, surrounded by a cloud of smoke, and then write in your profile that you’re only looking for a long-term relationship, you’re giving your potential matches whiplash. Your images need to tell the same story as your bio. A photo of you taking shots in a bar makes you look like a partier, which could come with the connotation that you like to hook up a lot. Someone who’s also looking for something serious isn’t going to swipe right on you if you look like an avid party-goer, no matter what your profile says.
Confidence is Hot. Self Deprecation is Cute. Find the Balance
You’ve likely seen those dating app profiles of the person who makes a whole PowerPoint presentation on why you should swipe right on them. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t, but there’s a key reason why you should be careful before posting something like that. Those presentations usually aren’t about a person talking themselves up. It’s more about them poking fun at themselves. That can be very attractive, as long as it doesn’t go too far.
In general, the whole replace-photos-with-PowerPoints trend isn’t going to help you out much. It may seem clever, but your potential match does want clearer photos of you. Save the self deprecation for your bio and go easy on it. Balance it out with confident statements, so that you don’t go in the direction of either being too cocky or too sad.
Honesty is the Best Policy
Sarcasm is hard to read through text and can make it hard for people to tell if you’re joking. Still, once you do match and you sprinkle in jokes in your conversation, your partner will start to better understand your sense of humor. But making sarcastic comments on your bio means potentially alienating your matches who might not know to read it with a pinch of salt. Keep your bio honest and say point blank what you’re looking for.
Keep your bio short, sweet, and to the point
Never skip the bio altogether. But don’t go writing five paragraphs or someone may decide to skip your bio instead! On Tinder, for instance, you’re able to go up to 500 characters in your bio, but ideally you should cut that to around 300.
Use whatever you can to say what words can’t
Beyond needing to have photos that show what you’re about, use other forms of media that you’re able to connect to say even more about you. For example, Tinder and Bumble both let you connect your Spotify to your dating profile. This is great because often our favorite music speaks for us in a way that sometimes we can’t express ourselves. You can also connect Instagram, which allows your suitors to get a better look into your life. Perhaps even a life that you one day want them to be a part of!
If your profile talks about things you’re not looking for, you might accidentally be alienating more people than you think. If you say “I’m not interested in hearing about your Real Housewives obsession”, you’re not going to match with anyone with the slightest interest in the reality show series. But you may also lose matches from anyone who thinks you’re rude for not wanting to match with someone based on a reality show series.
In general, we gravitate towards people with a happy disposition. If your first interaction with someone is focused on negativity, even if it’s not directed towards them, they’re less likely to want a second interaction. Talk about what you do like in your bio rather than what you don’t like. Not only is it more likely to get positive attention, but it’ll also open the door to a good conversation opener. It’s hard to start a conversation about something you don’t hate. It’s a lot easier to talk for hours about what you both love.
Paying attention to these pointers will put you on excellent footing to start online dating with confidence. It may seem like a bit of effort to begin with, but trust us, putting in the time at this early stage will pay off later down the line. So, good luck and enjoy putting together a dazzling dating profile!