If you’ve been single for a long time, it can be daunting learning how to be in a relationship again. Here we take a closer look at how you can rediscover what it’s like to be buddied up again after a stint on your own.
Being single is synonomous freedom. You don’t need to make compromises or sacrifice your wishes. You can even sit in your PJs all weekend, go out when you like, and eat ice cream for breakfast. It really doesn’t matter. And it’s awesome.
But you know what else is awesome? Being in a relationship.
You have someone to stay in with on a Friday night and order takeaway. You have someone to snuggle with in bed on a Sunday morning. And you have a best friend who supports, loves, and understands you in a way most people don’t.
So, how do you transition from single life to being in a long term relationship? If you’re ready to give up your single status, here’s how to be in a relationship.
How to Be in a Relationship Again
Create boundaries
One of the hardest parts of going from single to being in a relationship is the fact that you are both different people, with different wants and needs.
You might be an early bird, while they might be a night owl. They might enjoy spending quiet time chilling at home, while you love going out and partying. You might need a lot of alone time, while they love having company.
And you can no longer ignore the other person’s needs or forgo yours, as both of those will lead to unhappiness. That’s why creating boundaries is so important. You must tell each other what you want and need, and reach a compromise between you that accommodates both of you.
How to be in a relationship: Remember that communication is EVERYTHING
Communication is vital in any relationship – not just romantic ones. But if you’re used to being on your own, communicating with your new partner may not come naturally to you.
You’re probably used to not having to share your feelings, or check in with someone, or make future plans. But these things are important in a relationship. Without this constant communication, a relationship will break down.
Be gentle with yourself at the start, because it’s easy to neglect these things.
Maintain your independence
One of the scariest things about getting into a relationship is a fear that you will lose your independence. It’s easy for this to happen, because when you like someone a lot, you naturally want to spend more and more time with them.
But maintaining your independence is actually beneficial for you and your relationship. Otherwise, you can end up resenting each other, or being codependent.
So it’s about striking a healthy balance in all areas of your life. Your romantic relationship, your friendships, your work, and your passions.
When both of you do this, it creates a stronger relationship that is grounded and supported by other things outside the two of you. And it helps keep you rounded as people.
So devote time to your existing friendships, hobbies, and other commitments.
Be a student
Whether you’ve been single for a while or not, we’re all still learning. And there is always more to learn when it comes to everything. Especially relationships.
Learning how to be in a relationship is about recognising that you are always a student, and actively showing up as one.
Learning new skills, developing existing or forgotten ones, and striving to be a better person and partner every day. Admitting when you’ve made a mistake, and not placing blame or judgement on anyone else.
When both partners in a relationship are committed to this, there will be constant growth and expansion. The relationship will become stronger over time, and you’ll be able to overcome any obstacles that come your way.
Give yourself the time you need to adjust
The truth is, it’s hard to transition from being single to being in a relationship again. And the longer it has been, the harder it may be.
So be patient with yourself. Don’t rush into anything. Give yourself as much time and space as you need. And be open and honest with the person in question. That’s all any of us can do.
And the right person will be patient with you too. They will help ease you into a relationship again, and make it feel natural.
So are you ready to find out how to be in a relationship? If you’re willing to be open, honest, and emotionally available, then you might just be ready to start a new relationship with someone.
And when the right person walks into your life, you’ll feel it. And you won’t question giving up your single life – you’ll want to.