Regardless of who left who, parting ways with your partner always hurts. But there are ways to make it hurt a little less. If you’re going through a breakup and struggling to get back on your feet, here are a few things that you can do to make the transition to single life easier
Delete their number
Some might argue that it’s okay to be friends with your ex. And in some cases, like co-parenting, it’s much healthier to at least be on friendly terms with them. But it’s important to take time to not talk to them. Breakups leave wounds that heal over time, but when they’re fresh, texting your ex means constantly reopening that new wound.
Some might argue that it’s okay to be friends with your ex. And in some cases, like co-parenting, it’s much healthier to at least be on friendly terms with them. But it’s important to take time to not talk to them. Breakups leave wounds that heal over time, but when they’re fresh, texting your ex means constantly reopening that new wound.
Texting your ex also means that you’re also reopening their wound, and it’s not fair to them to put them in that position. Delete their number for now and take time to heal first. If you’re able to have a friendly relationship with them in the future, then by all means go for it.
Make plans
When you’re in a relationship you naturally spend a lot of time with your partner. You may’ve even lived with them. Breakups can throw your whole life out of whack. You’ll have to move out if you were living with them. At the very least, you’ll probably feel at a loose end without date nights filling your schedule.
Tackle that emptiness and make plans on those date nights. It’s normal to miss your partner, but it’s much more prominent if you’re spending all your time alone. Call up your friends and have some fun with them instead.
- Don’t jump into another relationship
We all know what the term rebound means. But it’s not healthy for you or the person who you’re rebounding with. If you’re going to enter into a new relationship, it has to be when you’re ready to let another person into your life again. And that can take time. Listen to your feelings first before getting involved with someone new.
A big reason why breakups hurt so much is because we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable with someone. When you lose someone it’s painful because we do, in a way, give that person our heart. It’s easy to feel betrayed by them giving it back. Starting a new relationship involves giving your heart to another again, so make sure you’ve mended it beforehand.
- Go on a social media blackout
In today’s day and age, it can be really tempting to check up on an ex. Are they doing okay? Are they doing better than you? Are they seeing someone new? In reality, social media can’t answer these questions. And knowing if they are dating someone new will only hurt you while you’re still healing.
Social media can send you into a spiral of speculation. Your ex’s arm around another girl in a photo doesn’t mean they’re dating, but if they are, so what? You have no idea what their relationship is like and it’s not healthy to spend all your time thinking about it. If you’re wondering whether they’re doing better than you, remember that social media is filled with tailored moments. People don’t post when they’re crying in bed. They post the highlights.
- Remind yourself that you’re only responsible for how you handle the breakup
You might not be texting your ex, but they might be texting you. It can be painful to read a bunch of text saying that they can’t live without you. You loved them and you don’t want to see them suffer. But you’re not responsible for how they feel. It’s not on you to fix how they feel right now. Don’t jeopardise your wellbeing by doing so.
If you broke up with them, you have your reasons. It’s likely you’re still coming to terms with them. If they broke up with you, they have their reasons too. You have to deal with the pain of them ending it. It’s okay to put yourself first, especially if placating your ex means ignoring your needs.
- Remember that it’s okay to talk about it
Some friends might say you need to stop talking about your ex to get over a breakup. However, talking about it is how we process the pain. There’s nothing wrong with trying to find different ways to process emotions. If talking about problems is how you confront problems, then explain to your friends why you need to do so. Sometimes getting your mind off things is counterproductive because you end up ignoring your emotions.
- Focus on your mental health
Whether you’re prone to depression or not, breakups may trigger bouts of it. It’s a difficult time and you may spend a lot of time upset, trying to process what happened and why. Recovering from a breakup means putting your mental health first, whatever that might mean for you. You may consider talking to a therapist or practicing mindfulness exercises to clear your mind.
The important thing is that you’re taking action and dealing with your emotions, rather than trying to cover them up. Don’t forget that there’s never any shame in asking for help with your mental health. Healing from a breakup takes time but it also takes effort. Time won’t heal all wounds unless you use that time to deal with your emotions.
Breaking up with someone is never easy. That said, keeping these seven pointers in mind will do you a world of good when you’re finding your feet. You will be happy again, just have a little patience and above all, focus on getting well.